Game time is a welcome distraction for Adam Krikorian after the death of his brother

Reporting from Rio de Janeiro —  For an hour or so on Tuesday, life was as it used to be for Adam Krikorian.

He paced the deck at the Maria Lenk Aquatics Centre with his usual energy, barking orders and using body English to guide his players’ shots into the net during the Olympic opener for the U.S. women’s water polo team. The U.S. coach’s universe for that brief time was reduced to just that pool, that game and that moment. And mercifully so, because it took him out of the world of raw and bottomless grief he has inhabited the past week.

Krikorian’s older brother Blake, a fellow UCLA alumnus and tech visionary who co-founded the video streaming service Slingbox with their brother Jason, died suddenly last Wednesday at age 48 in Pacifica, Calif. According to reports, he died of natural causes after paddle boarding. Blake, who preceded Adam in playing water polo for the Bruins, left a wife and two daughters.

Adam, 42, was in Rio when he got the news and left the next day for Northern California. He returned to Rio on Monday and was at the pool Tuesday, holding back his emotions until he was asked how he was dealing with his brother’s death. Sobs pierced his composure, but he was intent on upholding his duty to both his water polo and blood families. He brought honor to both.

“Certainly, it was one of the hardest things I think I’ve done,” he said. “I obviously feel for my brother’s family, his wife and his two kids. So I try not to get too emotional, because in some ways I feel like that’s selfish.

“It’s been a whirlwind. It’s hard to imagine that something like this would happen. We talked about it as a team and you always kind of prepare for it, but you never expect it’s going to be you. Leaving the [Olympic] Village was one of the hardest things to do because you leave your team and your family here. Arriving back at home was probably the hardest thing to do, just to see the family for the first time. And then, leaving again, home, where your family is and …”

He halted, momentarily overcome. He’s not alone in this because he’s surrounded by a group of young women who have absorbed his lessons about character and strength and unity and are reflecting them back at him.

“We really rely on Adam a lot for our support, but he built this team to be able to keep ourselves together and support each other in hard times,” said goalkeeper Ashleigh Johnson. “And we are fully supportive of him in his hard times.”

Krikorian earned their respect before he earned their empathy. Since he became the U.S. women’s coach in 2009, his teams have won 12 gold medals in 15 major championships, including Olympic gold in 2012. The U.S. women are heavily favored here, a billing they lived up to with their decisive 11-4 win over Spain, the 2012 Olympic runner-up.

With nine first-time Olympians, this team is younger and less experienced than the London group, but it might have more skill. On Tuesday, Kiley Neushul scored the first two goals and returning gold medalists Maggie Steffens and Courtney Mathewson each scored twice in a victory that Johnson said “definitely set the tone for the entire tournament.” Having Krikorian there to coax, cajole and share their joy was vital. Mathewson called it “a family win,” a perfect summation.

“If you need him to be a father figure, he’s there for you. If you need him to be a friend, he’s there to laugh with you,” Steffens said. “I really appreciate that he really is that person you need him to be when that moment comes. And today, we needed him to be that coach, that leader, and he was.”

He could be that, do that, because of them. “Their support was everything. I love them to death,” he said. “I told them [Monday] night sometimes the coach-player relationship is a little bit awkward. I can be tough at times, but deep down I love them and all, and I know the love and respect they have for me, as well.”

His hope now is that his grief doesn’t become theirs.

“I don’t want what I’m going through and my family’s going through to affect their experience here. This is their experience,” he said. “I’m going to get emotional at times. I’ll try to keep it together as much as I can, but just because a tragedy hits our team or my family doesn’t mean it needs to ruin this experience. This experience is separate, on its own. And their smiles and their love for each other and being here and experiencing it has lifted me up.”

[email protected]

Twitter: @helenenothelen