Midway Moments: Hey Clydesdales, this Bud’s for you

Editor’s note: Midway Moments is a column that takes a look at funny, unusual, inspiring — even embarrassing — moments at the 2016 Orange County Fair.

When the Budweiser Clydesdales show up to the Orange County Fair, they’re given an escort worthy of a head of state.

On Friday, before the horses’ big 5 p.m. parade through the Costa Mesa fairgrounds, no less than a dozen fair security guards, most of them with vacant expressions, stood watch over the crowd gathered by the horses’ “locker room,” which is Budweiser-speak for their custom semi-trailer.

Looking the part of a Secret Service team, the yellow-shirted sentinels ensured a proper distance between the throngs of fairgoers and the massive Scottish horses that have been Budweiser’s icons since 1933.

But the team wasn’t there just for show. Security staff say people must be kept away from the horses for everyone’s safety. Like cowboys, the most exuberant try to hop on. Some seek nothing less than the ultimate selfie next to Archie or any one of the eight Clydesdales hitched up to pull the vintage beer wagon.

One woman proved security’s point.

“Can we take a selfie?” she asked her companion.

“It’s better than petting,” her companion replied.

No one can, of course, achieve that super-close-up selfie. But Zack Seramur, Clydesdales ambassador, encouraged everyone to take plentiful photos and post them online accompanied by the social media hashtag #FollowTheHitch.

He also extolled the virtues of Budweiser, “King of Beers,” and how it will taste the same in New York City and at the OC Fair.

Seramur even compared a consistent Budweiser to the horses that represent the brew. They’re chosen from the breed to demonstrate similar characteristics, strikingly so that most people can’t tell the difference between them.

“We’ve got three teams that travel,” Seramur said. “They’re all going to be the same, whether you see us out on the East Coast or you see us here. You may think it’s the same horses.”

They’re not.

Thus, Seramur explained, if you were impressed with Charlie when you saw him in Massachusetts, unfortunately you won’t see him this side of the Mississippi. The horses visiting the OC Fair are the West Coasters, the Hollywood types that do commercials.

As Seramur waxed poetic about the mighty attributes of the Clydesdales — such as their special feeding hay imported from Idaho, how they show off “that pride that we are all about at Budweiser” — Archie and Bones, having been hitched to the wagon first as the leaders, stood ready to go. One of them — it wasn’t clear which because, as Budweiser says, they all look alike — thrashed his head about, mouth agape, slobber flying in the air.

Other horses relieved themselves onto the pavement, though a crew member with a large shovel scooped it up. Over Seramur’s amplified voice talking about the selection process for the Clydesdales to be bona fide Budweiser Clydesdales, the metal shovel scraped on the pavement.

Perhaps even more popular than the horses was their sidekick, a Dalmatian named Chip.

Seramur noted that Dalmatians originally accompanied the wagon to protect it and the horses, especially while the humans were gone delivering beer kegs.

A few minutes later, Seramur commented how hot it was outside. Time for a beer, as long as you’re of age and have a designated driver, he said.

“These guys,” he continued, motioning to the horses, “would appreciate you guys going out and getting a nice cold Budweiser. ... We get our support from Budweiser and Budweiser sales.”

Soon after Seramur signed off, he grabbed a water bottle (not a Budweiser), and the riding team — dressed like airline pilots with captain’s hats — climbed onto the wagon with Chip.

Once security had cleared some of the parade route, the procession — Budweiser’s ultimate mobile marketing tool — began. Guards walked alongside the horse team, carrying a rope to delineate how far spectators should be from the horses. Others led the charge, shouting at fairgoers to step aside. One man blew continuously on a whistle to signal that the Budweiser Clydesdales were coming.

A rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack played from the wagon. The riding team waved. Chip looked on, his eyes squinting in the afternoon sun.

The Clydesdales relieved themselves as they walked. It was not immediately picked up, which caused some onlookers to unknowingly step in horse dung on the street.

But just when you thought no one would be coming to clear it away, a Budweiser crew member approached in a red Budweiser T-shirt, riding on a red Budweiser electric cart, carrying a red Budweiser trash can. His shovel also was red.