QUOTATIONS: Will Rogers Speaks

 
On world affairs

"All I know is just what I read in the papers."

"I don't care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to. When the big nations quit meddling, then the world will have peace."

"The way we got in the last war was through notes. We send so many that nations can't tell which one we mean. Our wars ought to be labeled, 'Entered on account of too much penmanship.' "

"Every time there is a big conference, they always have a war to go with it."

"Viva Diplomacy. Nobody is fooled, nobody is hurt."

"A diplomat is one that says something that is equally misunderstood by both sides, and never clear to either."

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On politics

"We shouldn't elect a President; we should elect a magician."

"I hope some of the men who get the most votes will be elected."

"Washington, D.C., papers say, 'Congress is deadlocked and can't act.' I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this Country."

"Things in our country run in spite of government. Not by aid of it."

"Once a man holds a public office he is absolutely no good for honest work."

"If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world."

"Come pretty near having two holidays of equal importance in the same week -- Halloween and election. And of the two, election provides us the most fun. On Halloween they put pumpkins on their heads and on election they don't have to."

"The Democrats are having a lot of fun exposing the Republican campaign corruptions, but they would have a lot more fun if they knew where they could lay their hands on some of it themselves for next November."

"If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to Heaven."

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On aviation

"Just flew in from Santa Barbara and found a real, legitimate use for my polo field. We landed on it."

"There has been and will be lots of fine pilots lost in developing aviation to such a point that it will be safe for a lot of folks less useful to the world than these fine young fellows are."

"If there is a safer mode of transportation I have never found it."

"It looks like the only way you can get any publicity on your death is to be killed in a plane. It's no novelty to be killed in an auto anymore."

— From "Will Rogers: His Life and Times," by Richard M. Ketchum (1973, American Heritage Publishing Co.)