- Mary Serritella competes and performs here in Los Angeles and abroad.
- Her passion for the sport challenges society’s conceptions of age. “I just didn’t want to absorb that ‘I can’t’ attitude.”
- Her sons, initially skeptical, have warmed to the idea of mom being a pole dancer.
Dressed in 7-inch neon heels and translucent yellow bell-bottoms, Mary Serritella was defying gravity and expectations on a recent Wednesday night at Hollywood’s Bourbon Room.
Spinning gracefully around a silver pole to a disco medley, she contorted her body into a series of improbable positions with even more improbable names like “The Chopstick,” “The Jade Split” and “The Black Sun split” — a showstopper in which she gripped the pole between her belly and thigh and hung upside down holding a foot with each hand.
It was a dazzling display of flexibility and sensual athleticism and the crowd loved it. But when Serritella, who performs under the name Mary Caryl, revealed after the September performance that she had just celebrated her 71st birthday, the room exploded. A young woman in the front row pumped her fist in the air. Another made a bow, reminiscent of the “we’re not worthy” bit from “Wayne’s World.”
“You never lose it if you never let it go,” Serritella told the audience. “And five years ago I had a hip replacement. I’m a bionic woman!”
The crowd roared again.
Christina Calph, who booked Serritella to perform that evening at the Comedy Pole Show she hosts, said Serritella is an inspiration.
“I see her and I think, ‘Oh my God, I can be beautiful for the rest of my life,” Calph said.
Pole dance made me value being physically strong for the first time in my life. Here are great pole dance studios in Los Angeles that cater to all.
In a city where, in some neighborhoods, de-aging procedures can be as routine as dental cleanings, Serritella’s pole dancing prowess serves as an embodied reminder that getting older doesn’t have to mean forfeiting beauty, sexuality, strength or the activities you love.
Serritella still wears high heels, performs in bikinis and posts videos of herself on Instagram. She works out at least five times a week to maintain the upper body strength and flexibility required to climb a pole and bend, twist and coil herself into positions that seem impossible for most women several decades her junior.
She still deals with certain inconveniences of age — arthritis makes gripping the pole difficult, and there was that hip replacement.
“When I wake up in the morning, I’m a little stiffer than I used to be, and early on I sprained a knee,” she said. “But it’s like that old serenity prayer: Accept the things you can’t change, and change the things you can.”
Serritella, who lives in Northridge, started pole dancing in 2010 when she was 57, the same year the youngest of her three children graduated from college. A friend from the fundraising committee at her kids’ school mentioned that she’d started taking pole dancing classes at a gym. On a whim, Serritella asked if she could come. She was only able to learn a few moves before the gym disbanded the class, but she was hooked.
“I wasn’t good. I couldn’t climb the pole. I couldn’t do anything,” she said. “But I wanted to.”
She found other studios to train at including the Vertitude L.A. in Canoga Park and Choreography House in North Hollywood (now closed), sometimes sticking around for three lessons in a single evening.
“Both of them had incredible owners and instructors and they would bring in other incredible instructors from around the world, so I feel like I had the best training,” she said.
Seeking community and beauty, adult women are returning to the once highly competitive and exclusive art of ballet.
Modern pole dancing originated in strip clubs in the 1950s but became more mainstream in the last few decades as gyms and boutique studios that taught the activity sprang up around the country. Since 2009, the International Pole Sports Federation and other organizations have pushed to get pole dancing included in the Olympics. (In short, they are on an uphill climb.)
As pole dancing has grown more popular as an exercise and sport, a variety of styles have emerged. Some performers emphasize athleticism and aerial tricks, others storytelling and emotional resonance. Raw sexuality remains a pillar in many routines. Serritella embraced them all.
“I remember taking a class with a parole officer who was teaching all these trashy moves on the pole and the chair,” she said. “I was like, ‘OK this is me at 57 years old and I’m learning all this fun stuff.’”
In 2011, she entered her first pole dance competition in the 40-and-over masters category just three months after she started taking classes. The organizers of the competition, the Pole Sport Organization, called her on a Tuesday to ask if she would compete the coming Saturday. It was a ridiculous deadline, but she had a costume in mind and had been working on a routine, so she said yes.
“I was like, ‘Am I crazy?’” she said. “But it’s always been my personality to do things and not be afraid.”
Her first solo performance was at a showcase put on by the Vertitude. She dressed up as Mrs. Claus and danced to “Santa Baby.” More recently, in 2023 she took first place in her division at Pole Art Italy, an international competition for a country “dancin’ and romancin’” themed performance to a medley of “These Boots Are Made for Walking,” “I Only Date Cowboys” and “Lady.” She wore pink cowboy boots, a beaded pink cowboy hat, a tie-front sports bra and denim pole shorts.
“Burlesque and comedy are my favorite styles,” she said. “Some dancers really love dramatic music. That’s not me.”
Her family has mostly been supportive of her dancing. Tony, her husband of 33 years, recalled that his wife hosted a local public access television show called “Images With Mary Caryl” in the ‘90s and in 2012 appeared on “Alt for Norge,” a reality television show that brings Americans of Norwegian ancestry to Norway to compete in cultural challenges.
“Nothing she does surprises me,” he said.
As for her kids, Serritella said her daughter loved it when she started pole dancing, but it took her sons longer to come around.
“I think they were shocked that I had this fun side to me,” she said. Still, her middle son and his wife were in the audience when she performed at the Bourbon Room.
“I’ve learned to roll with it,” he said.
Studies suggest that older adults who regularly interact with younger people experience less anxiety, depression and cognitive decline
Among her younger pole dancing friends, Serritella is a hero. Teresa Fischer, a teacher at Luscious Maven, the North Hollywood studio where Serritella dances now, described her as “a legend in the industry.” Stephanie Pozos, another friend from the studio, said you can’t take your eyes off her.
“She has incredible flow, and she really knows how to show off what she’s good at and play to her strengths,” Pozos said.
Angelina Medina, who started pole dancing 2½ years ago, said Serritella’s style is a lot like her personality: bubbly and entrancing.
“I love that she’s defying society’s narrative,” she said. “I just turned 33 and society tells us as women that life is over after 30. It’s really not.”
Serritella has a background in beauty. She sells makeup out of her home, designs and sells a line of pole dancing clothes, and worked as an image consultant, helping women with their hair, makeup and wardrobes. When her friends and clients ask her for beauty tips, she’s happy to oblige.
“My two big ones are drink water and keep moving to help you flush out everything you take in,” she said. “A lot of times you see people who are my age and they are puffy-eyed and they have bloat. That’s what it is — lack of water, lack of mobility.”
Other tips include wear foundation every day to lock your moisturizer in and protect your skin from the elements. Eat healthy, but don’t worry about being perfect. And indulgence is an important part of life, whether it’s a new lipstick, a slice of birthday cake, or coffee with a friend.
Every time I think of my old idea of midlife — that dreary pasture full of drab linens — laughter bubbles out of me.
It’s all helpful (and I did start putting collagen in my coffee after she told me she’s been doing it for 10 years), but Serritella’s real superpower is her ability to buck society’s ingrained fear of aging and live the life she wants.
“So often through the years women would say things to me like, ‘I can’t wear heels anymore’ or whatever it was, and I would put a psychological bubble around myself,” she said. “I just didn’t want to absorb that ‘I can’t’ attitude.”
It might take more work than it once did for an older woman to feel beautiful and strong, but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible, she said. If there’s something you want to do, try it.
“We say our children are our future, and that’s true, but we’re their future too,” she said.
Back at the Bourbon Room, Serritella crept into the audience after her performance, looking less like a bombshell and more like a hot mom in jeans and a gray tank top. She was still wearing her 7-inch heels. She couldn’t find her tennis shoes in the green room. When the lights went down and the next act came on, she dropped to her hands and knees and crawled through the crowd to her seat. She didn’t want to disturb anyone’s view.
The next performer was a comic named Annie Lederman who is three decades Serritella’s junior. She stepped up onstage and surveyed the crowd.
“I have to follow Mary?” she said, despondent.
The audience laughed in sympathy.
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