13 ‘I can’t believe you said that out loud’ moments from ‘Eat Drink Love’

“Eat Drink Love,” Bravo TV’s new reality show about five females who “claw their way to the top of the male-dominated Los Angeles food scene,” premiered Sunday night. Being a female in the L.A. food industry, of course I watched.

The show chronicles the lives of private chef Nina Clemente, Fonuts pastry chef Waylynn Lucas, marketing specialist Jessica Miller, L.A. Eater editor Kat Odell and publicist Brenda Urban. There’s a lot more clawing at each other than clawing their way to the top. With each scene you’re left wondering if these people were actually saying what they said out loud.

They were, and now here’s what we know about them:

1. Kat truly believes she is a critic/tastemaker who can make or break a restaurant; Brenda thinks Kat is a gossip columnist and likens her to the Page Six of the L.A. dining scene.

2. Never play truth or dare with Brenda unless you want her to ruin your romantic exploits.

3. Jessica doesn’t like when sauces are in clear plastic bins in the Fukuburger kitchen and has to yell at the staff to prove a point just because she is 5-foot-1 and 100 pounds.

4. Nina may have never gone to culinary school but is determined to succeed despite forgetting to put flour in Eric Greenspan’s latkes. And she buys produce from the Farmers Market at the Grove.

5. Waylynn never wants to date a chef again because she used to date Michael Voltaggio and his ego and temper were too much for her.

6. “Fake dated” is when you think you’re hanging out with a guy as friends, but he thinks it’s a date. You know this and continue to “fake date” them. Kat admitted to “fake dating” the general manager at Son of a Gun and “fake dating” Pablo Moix, the mixologist at La Descarga. She also said she’s making out with someone from the Bazaar. “Literally they roll out the red carpet when I go to the Bazaar,” she said.

7. The only thing better than a great meal for Kat is a great meal with a hot guy.

8. According to Jessica, if someone writes “hii” with two “i”s, it’s a nice hi.

9. It’s OK for Kat to smile and flirt if it gets her the scoop on a story. “L.A. is a very flirty town,” she explained.

10. Jessica used to be a sorority girl. Tri Delt to be exact. Um, duh.

11. People send Waylynn gifts at Fonuts because they think she’s cute. Every time they do, she acts surprised.

12. Brenda makes a sexual comparison to show her fondness for fonuts and Plan Check’s doughnuts.

13. If Brenda didn’t work with Kat, she doesn’t know if they’d be friends.

And there you have it. What did you expect from the network that brought you “The Real Housewives of ... “ well, everywhere? It’s a cheapened representation of the L.A. food scene, but take the show for what it is, with a couple grains of salt.

“Eat Drink Love” airs on Bravo TV Sundays at 9/8 Central.

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