Golden Globes facial hair: The good, the Wurst and the scraggly

The women of the Golden Globes may have had their statement earrings last night, but on the guy’s side the must-have accessory seemed to be the statement beard.

In these situations it’s always hard to know exactly whose facial fuzz is job-related and whose is between-gig laissez-faire, but one thing was certain: You could hardly throw a mustache comb at the Beverly Hilton Sunday night without hitting a follicularly endowed fellow.

Those taking tonsorial top honors for their face furniture include Jamie Dornan (“Fifty Shades of Grey”) and Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”), whose neatly trimmed beards served as the perfect examples of how whiskers can work with formal attire.

Then there was Conchita Wurst, who took the statement beard in a whole different direction. The Austrian singer and drag queen (also known by the non-drag name of Thomas Neuwirth) hit the red carpet in a green velvet Alexis Mabille gown with a plunging neckline, nude bustier inset -- and a dark, well-manicured beard barely past the 5 o’clock shadow stage.

Jack Black’s graying beard was a study in salt and pepper -- the salt coloration predominant out toward the sideburns with a mustache heavy on the pepper -- a look shared by Dean DeBois, the bearded director who took home a Golden Globe for the animated film “How to Train Your Dragon 2.”

We’re seriously hoping (nay, praying) that Matthew McConaughey’s unkempt face full of tumbleweed is for an upcoming role. He showed up to the Globes with a beard so scraggly and uneven it looked as if it had been shaped with the sharpened edge of a rusty bottlecap -- that he might well be hiding deep within the beard itself.

And although Colin Farrell’s ‘70s-era porn ‘stache doesn’t technically qualify as a beard, it’s worth pointing out as a cautionary tale of facial hair gone wrong -- the night’s most memorable “mustNOTstache.”

For more pursuit of the hirsute -- and all kinds of other fashion and style news, follow me @ARTschorn