9 things we learned from Robert Pattinson’s ‘Cosmopolis’ trailer

David Cronenberg’s trailer for “Cosmopolis” starring “Twilight” heartthrob Robert Pattinson has debuted, showcasing RPattz as a young mogul traversing Manhattan in his stretch limo as the world seems to crumble around him. The film, based on Don DeLillo’s novella and featuring Juliette Binoche, Paul Giamatti and Sarah Gadon, opens in limited release Aug. 17. Until then, here are a few things we learned from the teaser:

Robert Pattinson isn’t a vampire. Yep, the uber-star plays 28-year-old billionaire tycoon Eric Packer in this flick. While he’s on his way to get a haircut, the world apparently falls apart. The Wall Street financier watches quite a bit of the global meltdown from his limousine-turned-office, musing about the meaning of life with various assistants and associates he encounters on the way.

“It’s very easy to say that this character ... is a vampire or a werewolf of Wall Street,” Cronenberg said in Cannes in May. “But, really, that’s fairly superficial.”

Someone wants to kill him. Packer’s success has apparently come with a few consequences. “My personal fortune is in ruins and there’s been a critical threat on my life,” Packer says. “Makes me feel free in a way that I’ve never known.” To be fair, his wife, played by Gadon, seems awfully annoying.

He has a gun, and he isn’t afraid to use it. No more Mr. Nice Vampire. Pattinson is twirling a small pistol in a few scenes and gets increasingly confident with the firearm as the trailer progresses. Stick around for the final scenes of the trailer to see what we mean.

This is a David Cronenberg film. Goodbye, teen angst. Hello, adult angst. While it may seem that the Twi-hards would be the ones clamoring for tickets, this is a film that fans of things other than Pattinson might actually enjoy.

Sex, sex, sex. There seems to be a lot of it, though not necessarily the fulfilling kind. It’s more of the apocalyptic, S&M; stun-gun variety. Hide your feathery pillows. Bottom line, the specter of death makes Packer surprisingly more desirable.

Get ready for a trip. Cronenberg’s pace is both whip-fast and laconic. Coupled with staccato cuts and an art-house style, it may be difficult to keep track of what’s going on.

So, do your homework. Or don’t. The dialogue-heavy film lifts chunks of text from the DeLillo novel. Cronenberg is pretty proud of that, too.

Capitalism sucks. “A specter is haunting the world. The specter of capitalism,” an LED ticker reads as the city goes to shambles. And there are a whole lot of sleek gadgets that give off the clean blue “glow of cybercapital,” which makes all that impending doom somewhat expected. Which brings us to ...

Rats are the future. A giant one crashes into the windshield of a car. And he’s not alone.

Will you go see “Cosmopolis”? Tell us in comments.

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