‘We Can’t Stop’: Miley Cyrus moments we want to unsee

Miley Cyrus debuted the music video for her latest single, “We Can’t Stop,” this week, but that isn’t stopping the Ministry from asking her to stop anyway.

When she isn’t generating gossip fodder with her on-again-off-again engagement to Liam Hemsworth, making quizzical drug innuendos or tirelessly working to besmirch her once squeaky-clean Disney-girl image, she makes music. And music videos.

And this latest one isn’t answering any questions about the former “Hannah Montana” star. It seems to make viewers wonder what shocking thing she plans on doing next, you know, just for the sake of making us go “huh?”

In the wise words of Miss Cyrus, “It’s my mouth, I can say what I want to.” The video debuted Wednesday and already had more than 6.3 million page views by Thursday. (A few were shamefully contributed by this blogger for the purposes of this post.)

It’s no vending-machine cameo in Jimmy Kimmel’s “(I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum,” but it definitely has weird written all over it. At least “Tatum” was made as a satire.

This was not.

VIDEO: ‘(I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum’

So here are few bizarre moments from the video we wouldn’t mind un-seeing.

1. Miley Cyrus writhing around — practically dry humping — a floral comforter while wearing a skin-tight white outfit. And singing.

2. Miley Cyrus making out with a mini-me version of a ventriloquist dummy in a pool. Like with tongue and everything.

3. Miley Cyrus twerking. A lot. Guess what? Her booty jiggles. And she seems pretty happy about it.

4. Miley Cyrus in the same white outfit on a stationary bike, making facial expressions that should be reserved for her fiance.

5. Miley Cryus’ tongue. And all the things it can do.

6. Miley Cyrus in a girl fight.

7. Miley Cyrus getting up close and personal with a lot of girls. In the pool. On the floor. In the gym...

8. Fake fingers being sliced off on a counter like a bundle of carrots. Then they ooze pink goo.

9. Taxidermy. A lot of it.

10. Some oddly inappropriate smoke effects strategically placed near crotches.

11. A man gorging himself on sliced white bread.

12. Life-sized versions of stuffed bears — as dance partners.

13. Several disembodied faces: One made out of what appears to be French fries. The other is a white mask-like face that beats and sings along to this lyric: “It’s our party, we can do what we want to.”

Indeed, Cyrus simply does what she wants to and seems to be pretty unapologetic about it. She sings: “Remember only God could judge us, forget the haters ‘cause somebody loves ya.”

The Times’ pop music critic Randall Roberts said the song “seems as if it were written by a ninth-grader imagining her rebellious college sister’s lifestyle,” adding that it “celebrates celebration” and is a “monosyllabic mess” probably designed “for use during sorority parties, strip club dances and bedroom tantrums.”

However, despite this slumber party gone wrong, Cyrus seems pretty excited about her newest piece of work.

“Hearing what you all have to say about the video means to much to me…y’all are making me tear up! #WeCantStopPremiere,” she tweeted Wednesday.

There’s a lyric in the song that has also raised eyebrows. It’s when she says “Dancing with Miley,” but most have been hearing it as “Dancing with molly,” molly being a form of the party drug ecstasy.

“I have an accent!” Cyrus recently told Rolling Stone. “So when I say ‘Miley,’ it must sound like ‘molly,’” she says. “You’re not allowed to say ‘molly’ on the radio, so it obviously says ‘Miley.’ I knew people were gonna wonder what I’m saying in that song.”

But she didn’t put to rest rumors of drug use, instead offering an explanation about her distinctions between substances.

“I did a song with Snoop Dogg called ‘Ashtrays and Heartbreaks,’ so people can put it together for themselves,” she added. “I think alcohol is way more dangerous than marijuana — people can be mad at me for saying that, but I don’t care. I’ve seen a lot of people spiral down with alcohol, but I’ve never seen that happen with weed.”

To sum up, we miss salvia Miley...

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