Ben Affleck blows a bleeping gasket defending Tom Brady

Man, would we love to show you Ben Affleck’s sit-down with Bill Simmons on the debut episode of HBO’s “Any Given Wednesday.” Love to. However, fueled by righteous indignation over Deflategate and an apparently major man crush on Tom Brady, Batman had quite the potty mouth.

His 10-minute appearance on the show was capped by a five-minute-plus rant about the New England Patriots quarterback. And rant he did.

Boston native Affleck had no problem articulating the F-bomb multiple times talking about Brady, though he did find himself with a thick tongue, or perhaps a frozen upper lip, on words and phrases like “realize,” “quarter” and “frankly” and “in the last 10, 15 years.”

“BTW – we taped AGW in the late-AM, Ben got fired up about DeflateGate during the convo, that’s it,” Simmons tweeted after the show aired, presumably in response to the many people on social media who were quizzing him about whether his guest was loaded during their sit-down.

To be fair, Simmons himself had struggled a bit with the word “literally.” Um, morning is hard? Lots of Rs and Ls sliding right off the map ...

HBO has the full show posted online, no pay wall — gotta love a first episode — so you can see the rant in the context of the larger chat and decide for yourself what was going on.

The “Batman v. Superman” star set the record straight Thursday on at least one thing: the actual number of F-bombs he dropped.

“For those of you keeping score at home, I gave exactly 18 [F-bombs] about my Pats. Upon reflection, 12 probably would have been sufficient,” he tweeted. “We Boston fans have always been known for our subtlety. One of my favorite interviews; hope you get to see the entire episode. #GoPats.”

Affleck’s physical appearance drew attention as well — dude looked a little puffy compared with his lean “Batman v. Superman” self — but there were also a host of viewers who basically said he brought some serious game as an angry, regular-guy fan defending his team.

“If you’re watching two Boston guys talk football, this is what happens,” a source close to the production said Thursday.

Affleck’s enough of a fanboy that he said he would have to play “Touchdown Tom” himself if he ever directed “Deflategate: The Movie.”

“That would be the greatest moment of my life if I got to go on a talk show with Tom Brady,” he told Simmons after the host offered to bring the athlete on the next time Affleck did his show. “I’d just be like, ‘Tell ‘em, Tom! Tell ‘em ... you! Tell ‘em you’re tired of this … ! I’m the ... best quarterback, ever! This is ... ! Tell ‘em!”

Again with the potty mouth.

But back to Deflategate.

“This is a conspiracy of people working inside the NFL who all come from organizations that Tom Brady whipped their ass over the last 10, 15 years. So there’s guys who work for the ... Jets and the Broncos and everybody else who are now they’re going, ‘Get him! Hang him!’ because they have some slight … flimsy pretense, and Tom is so classy,” Affleck said.

“It’s a … ridiculous smear campaign, and [NFL Commissioner Roger] Goodell now doesn’t have the integrity ... doesn’t have the decency to say, ‘This is stupid. I was wrong. This is ridiculous. We’re running our greatest player ever through this mill of humiliation and shame, which is totally unwarranted, for the sake of our own bruised egos, our embarrassment, to paper over our mismanagement.’”

He continued: “We haven’t done anything to address this crisis in domestic violence in the NFL, but the … football better not be 8% lighter. And if we find out it is, you’re gone for four games!”

Abso-effing-looly, Ben. Abso-effing-looly.

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UPDATES:

4:50 p.m.: This article was updated to include tweets from Ben Affleck