The parents grow up

While the thought of paternally polished Cliff Huxtable giving flawed advice or Alex Keaton’s dad, Steven, losing his smooth post-hippie cool was inconceivable to TV audiences in the 1980s, today’s parents in prime time unapologetically embody all of the imperfections and missteps that make up actual family life. Such shows as “Parenthood” and “Modern Family” derive humor and drama from their characters’ unattainable quest for perfection, a goal with which any parent can strongly identify.

In fact, in the years since the TV series pendulum swung away from the workplace and back toward the homestead, realism more than anything else informs the situations and characters.

“People have the expectation that, in some way, what you’re writing is going to reflect the world that they live in,” says “Parenthood” executive producer Jason Katims.

Plus, it just so happens that reflecting the real world in the mirror of prime time makes for good entertainment.

It’s “very identifiable and sort of twisted and complicated, which is where good stories come from,” says “Modern Family” executive producer Christopher Lloyd of real-world family concerns. “I can’t imagine how they did without it on ‘Father Knows Best.’”

Here are three shows that take a very contemporary look at families and parenting.

‘Modern Family’

The underlying notion of “Modern Family” is that every parent who tries too hard to be perfect is trying to correct the perceived mistakes that his or her own father and mother made. It might not be true for all families, but it certainly presents good fodder for 22 minutes of mockumentary comedy.

“There’s been a lot of scrutiny in the therapy generation of what our parents did wrong and coming to some acceptance that everybody’s flawed, and how we come to have those flaws is some of our parents’ doing and some of our own doing,” Lloyd says. “Complicated people are more interesting.”

Yet for all of the neuroses of siblings Claire Dunphy (Julie Bowen) and Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse T. Ferguson) — most of which they attribute to the failings of their father, Jay (Ed O’Neill) — they’ve managed to find complementary spouses and build good lives for themselves.

“At the end of the day, even though they have their differences, this is a group of people who genuinely loves and cares about each other, and that’s why people are relating to it,” says executive producer Steven Levitan.

However, unlike the “teenage tragedy of the day” sitcoms of the ‘80s, “Modern Family” rarely dwells on any one situation for too long, giving it a harried yet organized flow that mimics the life of a parent. All of the loose ends are eventually resolved, but without the obligatory “Blossom” moment.

The show’s somewhat timeless humor and engaging cast give viewers a comfortable feeling, and the three snapshots of different family structures cast a wide net of appeal. O’Neill’s role as the patriarch allows the audience to both understand and sympathize with the family dynamic.

“He’s a smart enough guy to know that values he insisted upon when he was younger and the approach he used to make those sink in never really worked,” O’Neill says of his character. “He’s got this young, beautiful wife [played by Sofia Vergara], and that’s not always easy, so I think he’s just muddling along and trying to keep the family happy and together.”

Daughter Claire, meanwhile, is clearly in charge of her three kids and her lovable but goofy husband, Phil (Ty Burrell). “She’s reacting to the parenting that she had,” Bowen notes, “and I think her reaction is to grip the reins as tightly as she can.”

Her need for order in the household is balanced nicely by Phil’s well-meaning screw-ups. “He loves to love other people. He just really enjoys his life,” Burrell says.

While Claire and Phil maintain their marriage amid teen and preteens, Mitchell and his partner, Cameron (Eric Stonestreet), are raising their adopted baby. They’re a loving gay couple, which informs their relationship with each other and their family, but it’s not a punch line to explain who they are.

“What I’m so excited about is that there’s actually a very grounded gay couple that’s in so many living rooms every week,” Ferguson says.

Combining the topical with the classic has earned “Modern Family” high ratings, a Golden Globe nomination, Directors Guild of America and Writers Guild of America awards and a Screen Actors Guild nomination — all in its first season, which has been a lot of fun for TV veteran O’Neill.

“When people say to me—and this happens every single day—’We love the show. Our whole family watches the show,’ I always say, ‘Isn’t it good?’ Now, I haven’t said that about too many things. I’m not bragging, I’m a fan of the show,” O’Neill says.

‘Parenthood’

Representing three generations of the Braverman family, “Parenthood” serves as a sort of modern-day version of “The Waltons” in that it celebrates families and relationships, albeit with a bit more baggage than the stories of yore.

“The basic principle that I started out [with] is that your children aren’t the people you expected them to be,” creator Jason Katims explains. “They’re surprising — sometimes wonderful surprises and sometimes difficult surprises.”

Those poignant moments, which include single parenting, affairs and discovering a child fathered out of wedlock, are best demonstrated by Adam (Peter Krause) and Kristina (Monica Potter), a married couple whose young son is diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome in the second episode.

“When you have a kid with special needs, being in that situation myself, little moments are magnified. I feel like I wound up walking around having more of a window into other families,” Katims notes.

Krause, whose character is also at odds with his father, Zeek (Craig T. Nelson), about how to parent and how to approach life, says seeing Adam and Kristina’s honest struggle to be together and to love makes them relatable.

“Even though it’s fiction and it’s TV, there’s something really rewarding about seeing them achieve it most of the time. That’s what makes the show hopeful,” Krause says.

‘The United States of Tara’

It was the type of parent that Diablo Cody didn’t see on TV as a teenager that gave way to her spark of inspiration for “The United States of Tara.”

“I grew up in the age of the multicamera sitcom with Claire Huxtable and Maggie Seaver,” she says, “and I always thought, ‘These people are so one-dimensional.’ I saw my own mother struggling to wear all kinds of different hats.”

Toni Collette won an Emmy and a Golden Globe in 2009 for her role as Tara, a married mother of two who has dissociative identity disorder. Rather than switching gears because of the stresses in her life, Tara switches personalities, a habit with which her husband, Max (John Corbett), appears to be inordinately patient.

“We’re constantly having to balance the drama of how DID has affected this family but still maintain the fact that Tara and Max are loving parents,” Cody says. “You wonder if she’s almost more sane than the average person because she’s invented these personalities to help her cope.”

‘The Middle’

While other shows in prime time fully embrace the complications of the world, “The Middle” makes a point of embracing being average, says Eileen Hiesler, who co-created the show with DeAnn Heline.

Simply keeping their kids on the right track and maintaining harmony at home represent the basic struggles that Midwestern parents Frankie ( Patricia Heaton) and Mike (Neil Flynn) face.

“Our show is a little bit of a backlash to the glamour of always looking at people who are richer than you and prettier and smarter,” Hiesler says. “Hopefully, we’re reflecting some sort of reality.”

Serving as a kind of softer, modern-day “Roseanne,” “The Middle” also portrays the financial challenges that a husband and wife with three kids have in a tough economy.

“What we wanted to do with the show is to express people who are embodying the American spirit of not giving up, even if it’s hard,” says Hiesler, who adds that the economy was still riding high when they originally pitched the show.

But even with tight purse strings being all too real for the audience, Hiesler says there’s a little bit of nostalgia wrapped up in the show, as well.

“There is wish fulfillment in good values,” she says. “Not necessarily what therapist you’re taking your kids to, but just being together.”

[email protected]