Kwan expands outlook as part of her healing process

Sitting in a circle with her University of Denver classmates before her final exam in international studies, immersed in analyzing turmoil in Iraq and North Korea, Michelle Kwan discovered something about herself that a lifetime of figure skating hadn’t taught her.

“We were talking about a certain issue and somebody would jump in and then somebody else would jump in, and it was very interesting, very stimulating,” she said. “It wasn’t like you sit up in a press conference and say, ‘Yes, I messed up the triple lutz and I flipped out and the music was really loud and the people were great.’

“Your mind is always working, and to have that stimulate you and be exhausted from your brain working, it’s a little different. Usually after skating I’d watch TV, have dinner and take a nap. That’s what my day consisted of. I liked it, too. But this is something different. I know it’s such a 180. And I love it.”

Ten months after a groin pull sent Kwan home from the Turin Olympics and deflated her gold-medal dreams, four months after undergoing surgery on a right hip injury she traced to 2002, the 26-year-old Torrance native is confidently building a life in which skating plays a lesser role.

Not that the five-time world champion and nine-time U.S. champion has quit the sport she graced for so long. Although she was told not to skate until January and has had numbness from normal but slow-to-heal nerve damage, she has sneaked onto the ice a few times. She’s also obediently following a physical therapy routine.

It’s too early to know the extent of her recovery, but she’s not ready to retire or relinquish her Olympic eligibility.

“Brian Boitano was like, ‘I just knew,’ ” she said. “I don’t think I’ll ever have that [and know] ‘It’s over. I can’t do it anymore.’ I’ll probably be eligible for the rest of my life. I’ll be 40 and say, ‘I’ve got to compete!’ ”

Even if she never wins another title or mesmerizes an audience with the artistry that carried her to more medals than any other American skater, she’s finding fulfillment in pursuits she never before had time to explore.

“In a way, that’s why I’m like, ‘I want to do everything,’ ” she said a few days ago at the East West Ice Palace in Artesia, the rink her family owns and operates.

“Usually I hang out with a lot of skaters. It’s this little group. Now, it seems my world is becoming a little larger. That’s how life should be.”

She has gone snowboarding, disdaining a friend’s offer of protective padding. “I said, ‘I’ll just get wrist guards. I’m used to falling on the ice, so it shouldn’t be too bad,’ ” she recalled. “The next day I was so sore. It was so bad.... I finally borrowed her butt pads the next day.”

She has become a full-time student for the first time since a brief experience with UCLA dorm life in 1999. She studied Mandarin as part of a 19-unit load and has sophomore standing. For a class that required volunteer work, she sat in a booth and urged passersby to vote.

She studied at the library until lights out and put on high heels and went dancing after her nearly two-month dependency on crutches ended.

“Denver has been great. I’ve had such a blast,” she said.

She kept her home in Los Angeles but took an apartment near school. She has been dating Christian Anschutz, son of mogul Philip Anschutz, but declined to discuss their relationship.

Christian Anschutz was her escort at a White House luncheon for Chinese President Hu Jintao in April that turned her life in another direction.

While chatting with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a former figure skater and a University of Denver alumna, Kwan said she’d like to serve her country. The State Department called two weeks later, and last month this daughter of Chinese immigrants was appointed the first U.S. public diplomacy envoy.

She plans to travel to China next month with Karen Hughes, undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs, and will probably speak to youth groups.

“I’m not in a position where I will talk about what’s going on in Iraq or Korea or China, or the relations,” she said. “The way I see it, we might have government differences between China and the U.S., but there are some universal things that are common, like family values, education. I want to promote the great things that the U.S. has to offer.

“You want to contribute, give back to the country. Anything that can make a difference. When you compete for so many years and represent the country, you get that pride as an athlete. This position is the same sort of feeling. You can make a difference by communicating your story.”

Her life story probably will not be gilded by an Olympic title. Getting to Turin took all of her resolve after she endured hip and groin injuries. She won a bye onto the team after she performed for a panel of figure skating judges, but she injured her hip on the second jump of her first practice in Italy and withdrew the next morning.

“I struggled this year. A lot. Like never, ever,” she said.

After her fall in practice, “I skated around the ice there and my head was just like, I knew. Oh, man. I saw the Olympic rings and aaaah. That’s all you could do.

“I don’t feel sorry. I feel sad, but frustrated.... I still get a little emotional about it. It’s part of me, for sure.”

Afterward, she sought solace in Denver but returned to Southern California to watch the women’s finale with her parents. “That was hard, but I knew I made the right decision,” she said.

Kwan performed in the Champions on Ice tour but didn’t jump, hoping to spare her hip further damage. She hasn’t jumped since Turin and hasn’t followed skating; she visited the website YouTube to catch up on the season’s top performances but will miss the U.S. championships next month while she’s in China.

She has been in a mood to reminisce since her sister, Karen, found some clips on YouTube of routines they did as children. She also watched some of her competition programs, with mixed emotions.

“It made me frustrated a little bit because I can’t move very well,” she said. “I can’t do this, I can’t do that. But it’s actually helping me get going again.

“Who knows what’s going to happen? I just leave every option right now. I don’t know what shows I’ll do or even if I’ll do shows, or if I’m going to compete.

“My life is pretty full. I don’t know if I could handle any more. There are so many interesting things going on.”

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