Will Audiences Brake for Pop Goddess?
Sex and Britney Spears go together like the little bubbles in Coca-Cola. One ingredient sells the other. So for Spears to be playing the virginal valedictorian of her high school class is a little like Carson Daly starring in a remake of “Goodbye, Mister Chips.”
That said, “Crossroads” is no “Glitter.” Spears acquits herself as well as anyone might, in a movie as contrived and lazy as this one. She has a natural screen presence and, despite all those irritating vocal tics, makes herself likable. This may come as a shock, but she’s OK.
Before going any further, however, into why “Crossroads” does or doesn’t work, some of her fans would probably like to know what she does and/or doesn’t wear. The wardrobe highlights are as follows:
Boy’s-style underpants with midriff-baring T-shirt.
Knee-highs, with miniskirt, and midriff-baring T-shirt.
Pink silk-and-lace bra and panty ensemble.
Bath towel.
This will be more than enough of an endorsement for most potential “Crossroads” audiences. Others may want to know that Taryn Manning and Zoe Saldana, who play the two estranged childhood friends of Spears’ character, Lucy, are first rate (Manning was one of the more interesting things about “crazy/beautiful”). And that Anson Mount, as the mysterious hunk who drives the three to California, is a nascent superstar. But it’s Spears’ movie, of course. As Lucy, the overprotected, over-encouraged daughter of a Louisiana garage mechanic (Dan Aykroyd, collecting another paycheck), she is pining for something fresh in her life, which does not include a first-time sexual encounter with her lab partner of three years (“This isn’t how I expected it to be,” she says, begging off. “This is exactly how I expected it to be,” he begs.)
When the pregnant Mimi (Manning) says she’s heading out to L.A., post-graduation, to take part in a recording company’s open audition (one of the several things in the film that simply doesn’t make much sense), the other two go along, somewhat concerned that Ben (Mount), their driver, is rumored to have done time for murder. .
Along the way to the West they suffer a more-than-predictable series of mishaps, including a broken radiator on Ben’s ’66 Buick Skylark convertible (which got me a lot more excited than Spears) and a performance in a karaoke bar in which Mimi, the alleged performer, suffers a case of crippling stage fright. Lucy takes the mike, covers Joan Jett, and the patrons cough up enough cash not only to fix the car but also to rent a hotel room with an actual minibar.
“Crossroads” is one of those thankless projects that directors usually take on so they can do something else. Tamra Davis, who directed the Drew Barrymore picture “Guncrazy” back in ‘92, as well as the hilarious “CB4,” is capable of much better than this, but perhaps the idea was just to get out of Spears’ way.
Good idea. When Lucy says, in a moment of uncharacteristic megalomania, “Why don’t I just do something for myself for once?” You want to ask her “Who are you? Mother Teresa?” At the same time, of course, you’re just happy she isn’t Mariah Carey.
*
MPAA rating: PG-13 for sexual content and brief teen drinking.
‘Crossroads’
Britney Spears...Lucy
Anson Mount...Ben
Zoe Saldana...Kit
Taryn Manning...Mimi
Kim Cattrall...Caroline
Dan Aykroyd...Pete
A Paramount Pictures and Zomba Films presentation, in association with MTV Films, released by Paramount. Director Tamra Davis. Producer Ann Carli. Executive producers Clive Calder, Larry Rudolph, Johnny Wright, Van Toffler, David Gale. Screenplay by Shonda Rhimes. Cinematographer Eric Edwards. Editor Melissa Kent. Costume designer Wendy Schecter. Music Trevor Jones. Production designer Waldemar Kalinowski. Running time: 1 hour, 33 minutes.
In general release.
