Toward a More Perfect President
Our new president has said repeatedly that he seeks, and will accept, advice from all quarters. And yet, what of our other president, the one to whom so many of us turned for comfort and sooth during the Great Election Caper of 2000?
While neither Josiah Bartlet nor his creator Aaron Sorkin has exactly requested, or even encouraged, any input from the unwashed masses, I feel a sense of obligation. As Ainsley Hayes, the Republican attorney President Bartlet hired in the spirit of bipartisanship and general mischievousness, said so poignantly, I want to roll up my sleeves and ask what can I do to help.
I do feel I have some credibility as an unpaid advisor to NBC’s “The West Wing,” mainly because it is the only show I watch. Or rather, it is the only show I watch willingly, the only show I watch that does not showcase the talents of dancing flatware, little bears or Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. With a full-time job and two children under the age of 3, I run my house a bit like Sorkin’s White House--lots of talking over my shoulder as I careen around corners, lots of dizzying viewpoint cuts--but though the room around me roils in chaos, there I sit, every Wednesday night, with dedicated concentration I have not shown since the glory days of “Hill Street Blues” and “Cagney & Lacey.”
And, as President Bartlet was so powerfully instructed by his staff to say to the environmentalists he had just admonished, friends should not be afraid to be honest with each other. And so I have composed a list of suggestions. Just a few notes between friends.
1. The scattershot mix of reruns and new episodes does not work. Especially when the reruns include flashbacks; a rerun with a flashback is like time travel with amnesia. Or something. I know this is the way things are done now, but it simply must stop. The forward-forward-back-back programming lends an air of dementia to the viewing experience. And while I am willing to suspend disbelief and watch with a tear in my eye as the commander in chief makes an act of confession to Karl Malden in the Oval Office, I cannot afford to relinquish my grip on a linear construct of time.
2. As a Maryland native, I know for a fact that there are brunet women living and working in the D.C. area. Moira Kelly was part of the original cast, but it was clear from the beginning that she was doomed--not only is she a brunet, but she wore dark pantsuits. When uneasy comments about the doppelganger-like resemblance between Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman’s assistant Donna Moss and Ainsley were written into the show, it seemed we were on the right track, or at least covering our tracks. Then Felicity Huffman made her appearance as flirty yet ferocious Republican advisor Ann Stark. Now it’s a bit like a Robert Palmer video, with blonds.
3. A decision must be made regarding the president’s ambitions. Last season ended with his courageous decision to stop worrying about being a one-term president, to just let Bartlet be Bartlet, and to hell with reelection. This season, we learn, he had a deal with his wife, and apparently God, that he would serve for only one term in the first place, because he has a potentially debilitating form of multiple sclerosis. What’s next? An evil twin? I knew they should have saved the assassination attempt for the third or fourth season.
4. Whatever happened to Danny, the dogged reporter and Press Secretary C.J. Cregg’s potential love interest? One minute he’s badgering everyone about the 25th Amendment; the next minute he’s vanished. Perhaps his editor got wind of his highly unprofessional and yet understandable and appealing pursuit of his primary source.
5. Speaking of C.J., who is on her way to becoming a television icon, remember the episode in which Josh told Danny that she really liked goldfish? And then Danny got her a living, breathing goldfish, which led to the endearing revelation that it’s goldfish crackers she really loves? This was a great moment and a great episode, except for one minor thing. We have never seen C.J. actually eat a goldfish cracker.
6. Why do no “West Wing” characters have families? Poor Leo was the only married member of the staff, and his wife was out of the picture by the third episode. Politics is a demanding life, but James Carville and Mary Matalin managed to find the time. Sam Seaborn had that very likely prostitute debacle, but he hasn’t mentioned a woman since his halfhearted courtship of Leo’s daughter fizzled last year. Are viewers supposed to believe that Rob Lowe doesn’t date?
7. Communications director Toby Ziegler at least has an ex-wife, though why anyone would leave him I can’t imagine. I love him. I love Richard Schiff as him. I think he absolutely deserved the Emmy, and I want him to come to my home for dinner. But someone has to tell him to SPEAK UP! I know he is a contemplative, restrained kind of guy who so often is the conscience of the staff, but half the time I CAN’T HEAR HIM. I find myself rushing to turn up the sound while he is speaking, and then turning it down when it’s someone else’s turn. I should not have to do this.
8. Unless it is a prelude to the much-needed romantic subplots, the men on the staff have to stop looking soulfully at one another. Straight men do not look at each other this way in real life. Ever.
9. I love Chief of Staff Leo McGarry almost as much as I love Toby, so I feel confident in saying he would never ask the president of the United States to call a columnist regarding a staff member’s panties no matter how odd and convoluted the plot had become. He is, as he so powerfully said several weeks ago, a wartime consigliere, not a participant on “Temptation Island.”
10. Where is the vice president? I am so afraid he’s fallen off the wagon after his brief brush with the presidency and that troublesome 25th Amendment. Or else he’s in Cancun, cavorting with Danny.
11. They’re going to have to watch the time frame a bit more carefully. Last month, the president delivered his third State of the Union address. The show is only in its second season. If it continues a hit, the writers may find themselves in a “MASH”-type situation, with President Bartlet having a 20-year administration.
Which would actually be OK by me.
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“The West Wing” is broadcast Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on NBC. The network has rated it TV-14 (may be unsuitable for children younger than 14).
