Royal Foot and Mouth Disease

Those madcap royals and the British tabloid press are going at it again. Prince Edward’s wife has quit her day job heading up a London public-relations firm after being caught up in a tabloid sting that has all of Britain talking about the Earl and Countess of Wessex, as Sophie and Edward are officially known.

The former Sophie Rhys-Jones, who married Edward in 1999, was caught on tape while talking with a reporter posing as an Arab sheik soliciting the PR company’s business. As she left RJ-H Public Relations, the countess complained that she and her business were victims of press entrapment. She also kicked herself for falling for the ruse. The Queen was not amused and “deplored” the sleazy press tactics in a statement issued by Buckingham Palace.

Meanwhile, the tabloid News of the World, which set up the sting, on Sunday published what it said were transcripts of Sophie’s conversations with its pseudo-sheik. Last week, the paper had agreed to spike most of its Sophie scoop in exchange for an exclusive interview. Denying it had reneged on its deal with the palace, the tabloid said it published the story to “partially exonerate” Sophie following days of inaccurate reports.

According to the tabloid, Sophie let the indiscretions fly as she nibbled lettuce during a March 14 meeting at London’s Dorchester Hotel. In context, her remarks are not nearly as catty as reported. She did not call the Queen an “old dear.” Nor did she refer to Prime Minister Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie, as “horrid, absolutely horrid,” or to Conservative Party leader William Hague as “deformed.”

From her lips to our ears, via the miracle of the Internet, here’s the real dish:

The countess did say that she could never fill Princess Diana’s “empty pedestal,” adding that she “didn’t think I could have coped with that level of pressure or expectation.”

Fox hunting, she said, “is just vermin control, but people think it’s the aristocracy running around doing what the hell they like.” This point is lost on the Blairs, she added, because “he’s ignorant of the countryside” and “his wife is even worse.” Her dissing turned bipartisan as she mimicked Hague, saying, “He sounds like a puppet, unfortunately.”

The Queen’s daughter-in-law actually was kind to the royal family, describing Prince Charles as “great fun.” Regarding any wedding plans between Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles, she said the prince doesn’t want to get hitched.

Meanwhile, Prince Harry also was in the news--not for sticking his foot in his mouth, but through a door. Harry’s royal ankle was stitched up, and he was sent home on crutches after accidentally smashing his foot through a swinging glass door during a party Thursday night at Prince Charles’ Highgrove estate.

Busted at Playboy

The threat of workplace violence has touched the Bunny empire. An office manager at Playboy magazine’s Wilshire Boulevard offices was arrested a week ago after he threatened to bring an AK-47 to work and start blasting away at co-workers. Richard Johnson, 43, allegedly made the threats following a heated argument with his boss. He was stopped by security when he arrived for work last Monday and held until police arrived. He had no weapons on him, but was nonetheless booked for making threats and released on $50,000 bail. “He’s no longer a Playboy employee,” a spokeswoman said.

Monday, by the way, was the real 75th birthday of Playboy’s Viagra-popping head hedonist, Hugh Hefner. He celebrated quietly at the Playboy Mansion over the weekend with estranged wife Kimberly and his seven girlfriends, plus Dan Aykroyd, Jon Lovitz and Rod Stewart. Tara Reid and Carson Daly also showed. Despite postponing their wedding, they still seemed very much a couple.

The Ah-nuld Watch

Maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger will run for governor of California. Maybe not. The answer depends on who’s trying to pin him down and where. Here’s what the Terminator recently told Austria’s Die Krone newspaper: “It is now almost certain that I will enter politics. I want to do it because I love my country.” Hope that clears things up.

Sightings

James Spader, at a window seat at Joan’s on Third in Los Angeles, chowing down on a turkey meatloaf sandwich. Ozzy Osbourne, scanning the menu and waiting for his agent at the Starbucks at Wilshire and Santa Monica boulevards. Marisa Tomei, buying a $100 trash can and some mini soaps at Waterworks on Robertson Boulevard. Alicia Silverstone, ordering a vegetarian burrito with extra beans at El Dorado Restaurant in Brentwood. Paris Hilton, scarfing down a blueberry waffle smothered in ice cream at Blueberry on Santa Monica Boulevard. Holly Hunter eyeing a deco-style designer chair at Seem, an arty furniture store on Beverly Boulevard.

Times staff writers Louise Roug and Gina Piccalo contributed to this column. City of Angles appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Send e-mail to [email protected]