Divine Right in ‘Polyester’

Nobody could fill a bra and panties quite like Divine. Take a look at “Polyester” if you have any doubts. There he is, right at the start of John Waters’ uncivilized comedy, a 300-pound troublemaker all dressed up in feminine mystique.

Waters, who’s gone on to almost mainstream respectability (say it isn’t so!) with such recent studio releases as “Serial Mom,” started his career with Divine, a large, marauding transvestite who gave the legendary “Pink Flamingos” just the right trash cachet. “Pink Flamingos,” which came out in 1972, is perhaps the grossest movie ever--Divine (a.k.a. Glenn Milstead) caps a couple of hours of queasy mischief by eating dog droppings.

“Polyester,” which continues UC Irvine’s “Off the Beaten Path” series Friday night, isn’t quite up to the low standards of “Pink Flamingos,” but it’s still a worthy effort by Waters, then one of the most on-the-fringe of the fringe directors. Besides, Divine is in great form, if you like forms that way. Girls just wanna have fun, and Divine puts a radical spin on the notion.

In the 1981 flick (which, ironically, was supposed to be Waters’ entry into real filmmaking, since it was financed by big-name New Line Cinema), Divine stars as Francine Fishpaw, a frantic member of the Silent Majority, mother of two monstrous kids and wife to cruel, toupeed Elmer (David Samson), who runs a porno movie house.

While Elmer’s theater inspires rabid protests by Baltimore’s conservative citizens, daughter Lulu (Mary Garlington) runs off for sex with Bo-Bo (Stiv Bators, the former singer of the punk group Dead Boys) and generally just can’t keep still (she wants to be a go-go dancer). Son Dexter (Ken King) has a drug problem and a foot fetish; he’s the notorious “Baltimore Foot Stomper.”

Wait; there’s more. Elmer takes his freaky secretary to lousy motels and enjoys tormenting Francine by driving around town with a loudspeaker, telling everybody that “my wife is the hairiest woman I’ve ever known” and “she’s an alcoholic who can eat a cake in one sitting.” Francine begins a to-the-bottom spiral until she meets Todd Tomorrow (Tab Hunter), the owner of a drive-in theater that only shows art films and serves caviar, champagne and oysters in the snack bar.

Anyway, those are just the basics. Besides, the plot in a Waters’ movie is usually only incidental; it’s what happens to the characters when things are moving along that makes you sneer, laugh and grimace. It’s almost impossible to explain; seeing is believing with vintage Waters.

What’s also funny about “Polyester” is how little Waters had improved as a technician since “Pink Flamingos” made its debut. Despite extra money (with New Line Cinema bankrolling, it had to be more than the $10,000 he spent on “Pink Flamingos”) and more experience, Waters still barely knows where to put the camera. In “Pink Flamingos,” everybody was framed in a five- to 10-foot range; in “Polyester,” it’s maybe five- to 20-feet.

The acting is largely improvisational, with Divine making the most of the freedom. Tab Hunter is pretty good, too, mocking his teen idol image and not being self-conscious about his sagging features and waistline.

One last point: any discussion of “Polyester” requires at least a brief mention of “Odorama,” the sniff-good gimmick that Waters used to publicize his picture. Moviegoers were given a card and were expected to scratch a circle when the corresponding number flashed on the screen. The scents from perfume, pizza and a skunk (predictably, most were bad) were supposed to add to the experience. Sorry, no Odorama cards at UCI.

A different, quieter sort of humor is also on Friday’s bill. Buster Keaton’s 20-minute silent, “One Week,” will follow “Polyester.”

What: John Waters’ “Polyester.”

When: Friday, May 6, at 7 and 9 p.m.

Where: The UC Irvine Student Center Crystal Cove Auditorium.

Whereabouts: Take the San Diego (405) Freeway to Jamboree Road and head south to Campus Drive and take a left. Turn right on Bridge Road and take it into the campus.

Wherewithal: $2 to $4.

Where to call: (714) 856-6379.